i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
where are you?
Hypothermia
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
