the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
