Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.

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(765): View more from Indiana

She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i just sold back the books i vomitted on

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance

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(417): View more from Missouri

I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.

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(312): View more from Illinois

he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it

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