something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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