I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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