Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
