Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize