WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
