I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
