Is it normal to miss your booty call?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
