he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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