went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
