no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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