The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
