Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
