friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
