Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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