Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
