Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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