I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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