our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
