Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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