I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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