He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
