to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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