i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
