Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
