He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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