the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i now understand why vodka
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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