I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
