Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There's a naked man in my car right now.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
