I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
