there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
