Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize