I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we made out on top of his cat.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
