God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
