I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
