we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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