there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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