Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
