If that was your dad, he is hot
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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