Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
