Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
