you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Still dying that you shit outside
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
