The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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