so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
