He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize