this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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