apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
