He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
