But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
birth control should be required to get into college
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
is that a dick in a sweater?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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