You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i think my mom watched the whole time
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
