Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
