Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
