i don't like sucking hair
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So much rum. So many feels.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
