Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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