I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
