the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
