Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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