butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
