Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I love you. Go after that dick
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
