I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize