so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
