This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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