I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
