I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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