you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
