hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
