that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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