HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
