a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
