thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
