your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
